Why change can be so difficult – 3 things that keep us stuck
For some of us change is really difficult. We want to change, we know we should, yet we either deliberately or consciously resist, we don’t know why we can’t or we run around trying everything that’s out there without getting any results – and that’s really frustrating right?!
Whatever it is that we ARE doing is not helping us get where we want to be and it’s making us feel even worse about ourselves and our ability to really get our shit together and create the life we want. We might even be turning on ourselves and thinking that we’re a loser and loading ourselves up with self-blame. Self-betrayal like this sucks big time. In other words, we’re really doing a job on ourselves – and that’s not good…
So what are the 3 things that keep us stuck?
1. Information overload.
We are intelligent people. We’ve read all the books, watched and listened to all the right people, probably even attended classes and workshops. We know what we need to do, what we should be doing and yet we’re not. Why is that? What needs to happen within us before we can take the necessary steps towards that change?
Certainly when friends and family try to push us in a particular direction to make the changes that we already know we need to, well… it just doesn’t help does it? Then we feel hen-pecked and nagged – we just want to shut them out and we switch off from their lecturing but it makes us feel like crap.
Their questions like “Why are you resisting giving up smoking, losing weight, leaving an abusive partner?” “What’s stopping you from changing” are meant to open helpful dialogue but they probably irritate us instead. Instead though, try to use them as thought provoking. I like to set these types of questions with my coaching clients and you’d be amazed at the deep insights that are revealed when they spend time contemplating in this way. Try asking yourself these same questions and see where it takes you.
2. “I can’t see where I’m stuck!” “I don’t know where my obstacles are”
Often we can’t see for ourselves where we’re stuck. It can be completely obvious to someone else what it is that we need to do to fix a situation, but we just can’t see it for ourselves.
Sometimes people come to me for a psychic reading and their problem is so obvious to me that I don’t even need to be psychic to see it. When I tell them what I see they can hardly believe that it was right there in front of them all the time. Have you experienced this? I know I have. Sometimes I’ve been chatting with a friend and she’s just casually pointed out what I need to do next and I’m like, “well…. Duh…. Why didn’t I think of that?” Sometimes our problems are really not that hard to fix but we need to see them first and you know what they say: “Sometimes you just can’t see the wood for the trees”.
Another place we can get really stuck is when we have subconscious energy blocks or limiting beliefs. By their very nature subconscious blocks are unconscious – hidden – so I use hypnotherapy to find these blocks, make them conscious so we can see and understand them and then shift them so that they no longer hold us back in any way.
3. Quick fixes.
Do you love a good quick fix? There are a few genuine quick fixes in this world but the majority don’t work for very long. One quick trip to the gym doesn’t create ripped abs or a tight firm butt – we all know that it takes a bit more work than that however when it comes to personal development work, healing past wounds or manifesting an amazing life, people often want it quick and they want it now. But life isn’t like that.
It’s a fact that we have to work towards things that we want to achieve. Staying on track and being accountable to someone can help us to get results and this is the very reason that I recently got myself a fitness coach – because I’d got lazy and I’d been slacking off and not really loving myself for it.
One of the benefits of a coaching programme is that we can be held accountable and our coach oversees our progress, encourages us and tweaks the exercises so that we can get the most out of the programme.
My Mum’s words came back to me recently, from a memory of about 29 years ago. Some time not that long after I had given birth to my first son, a family member made the comment “Karen’s got her figure back quickly after having the baby, it’s easy for her, she’s always been slim”… but my Mum quickly replied “Oh no, her figure didn’t come easily at all, she’s worked really hard for that and she still does”.
Those words “She’s worked really hard for that” have become my latest mantra. I do want certain things in my life and I’m willing to work hard to get them. I’ve done it before – been successful at it – and I can do it again with whatever I want to achieve.
Every day take action steps in the direction of your goals and you will achieve success.
Be kind to yourself and stay on your path to creating the life you really want.
From my heart to yours,
29 November 2018