No matter what you think. No matter how in control you’d like to think you are, it’s true, that you can’t control everything in life. Some change is always inevitable.
Love it or hate it, change is going to happen to you at some point in your life.
It could be that someone you love decides to leave you. Your services are no longer required. Your job ends. Your lease ends. And the list goes on.
You can’t control the decisions that other people make that affect your life (or theirs), but you can control how you respond to the changes that their decisions bring to you.
When life isn’t going the way you want it to, you know you need to do something to change it. But change isn’t always comfortable and often you’ll try to ignore it or put it off.
If change was comfortable, you’d probably never feel stuck… you’d just get up and go and do whatever you want to do to change your life for the better.
You certainly wouldn’t put it off for years like many of us do!
But this uncomfortableness around change, is why people stay married for years to people that they don’t love – or even like – anymore!
It’s why they stay in jobs they hate and live in places they don’t like.
Generally, people only do something to change their circumstances, when it becomes so uncomfortable, or emotionally painful to stay there, that they just can’t stand it anymore and they HAVE to change.
It takes a lot of courage sometimes. It takes commitment. And of course, motivation.
The thing with motivation is that it’s not always there at the start. It often doesn’t show up until later, once we begin to see the benefits or results of the changes we are making. Then, it’s there to keep us going, but initially it’s not there and we have to find it within ourselves, to set the ball in motion and get started and for many of us, that’s the hard part. Getting started.
Sometimes literally, our life depends upon making those changes – especially when it’s a health crisis – but even then it can be hard to do it and keep going, because we’re in the habit of being, doing, thinking and feeling exactly how we have been for what feels like forever.
Often, we’ve been stuck in a rut for a long time. After all, it’s what’s got us to where we are right now.
So, the problem is, that the mind’s job is to keep you safe, and if the change that you’re trying to make, makes you feel unsafe, then you’ll be battling your own mind in order to change.
And that’s the sticking point… you want to change, but a part of your mind doesn’t want to change because it’s comfortable and it’s holding on to what it perceives as safety.
Because changes represents the unknown does it not?
And if your mind thinks that the unknown is scary, it won’t let you go there and hello Mrs Sabotage Yourself all over again.
Because then you get into habits of overthinking.
You try to buy yourself some extra time and keep moving the date at which you’ll make this change.
Or you hope things will just get better all on their own, or that the other person in the relationship will make the decision and save you from having to say anything… until suddenly 2, or 5, or even 10 years have passed and you’re still stuck.
You haven’t followed your heart. You’re not living in joy. You’re just treading water waiting for something to happen to make it all better. But usually it’s just getting worse.
Well don’t despair, because there’s a way through – and that is to tell your mind a story about how much you’d love to make that change.
If you tell your mind how excited you are, how ready you are, how eager you are, then it will go about motivating you to change (from the inside first, which is where all good changes starts from). And once you’ve changed on the inside the outside will automatically begin to reflect that back to you. That’s when you see the evidence of the work you’ve been doing. The inner work.
It’s a bit like seducing your mind to be on your side as opposed to battling against each other with one wanting change and the other holding on to safety for dear life.
When you get your mind on side, your habits of self-sabotage begin to fall by the wayside because your head and your heart are moving in the same direction. Hand in hand. How cute is that?
So basically, tell your mind what you want it to believe – tell it clearly and often enough – and it will begin to follow your instructions.
This is the basics of mind control to be honest – controlling your own mind to get the outcome that you want and THIS is how you begin to create the life that you really want
So, follow your heart, the joy and the passion. Tell your mind that this is what you want so that you override your fear of change and crush your habit of self-sabotage before it even has a chance to raise its ugly head.Sound good? Cool! Make sure to follow me on IG and join my FB Group for more tips and tricks on how to create the life you really want and become Abundant AF.